Lizzie from ZenLizzie wrote a post expressing her doubts about starting a weight loss blog.
She’s afraid.
Of failure.
Of judgment.
Of being vulnerable.
To the entire world.
Having a healthy living blog centered around weight loss is a very sensitive thing. You are basically putting yourself out there for everyone to read, judge, and comment.
When you have good days, you’re on top of the world, but when you have bad days, the last thing you want to do is write about your latest binge episode.
The last thing you want to do is examine yourself internally, to face those ghosts from your past, those skeletons in your closet. It’s a very painful process because you are forced to realize every single flaw you have, every imperfection, every ugly truth about who you are.
You become vulnerable. Every mistake you make, every slip-up, every poor choice, might result in somebody behind that computer screen judging and pointing a finger at you. There might be someone waiting for you to trip, fall and never get back up.
But with vulnerability comes self-recognition. By identifying our flaws, by realizing our weaknesses, we can find where we need improving. Only at our most vulnerable can we truly learn about ourselves.
It took a lot of COURAGE for me to start blogging in February. I was back to 220 pounds, a weight I never wanted to see ever again in my life.
I had to come to terms with what had happened.
I had lost myself. I had let my emotions spiral out of control, and instead of identifying and fixing the problems, I had resorted to food.
Writing helped me identify the issues I have.
I can be self-doubting yet overconfident at the same time. I can be aimless while being goal-driven. I can be extremely positive yet negative all at once.
I might not have solved all of my problems, but I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself along the way.
Half of Jess has become a place where I come to reach out to others for support and advice. All of your comments, suggestions, ideas, and praises motivate and fuel me. I soak it up like sunshine and gobble it up like food.
All of you inspire me to train harder. Whenever I feel like things are impossible, I think about each and every one of you achieving your goals.
Every time I want to give up, I remember that somebody out there is looking at me for motivation and support.
I am not perfect.
But nobody expects me to be.
This healthy journey isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about facing my flaws, and then improving upon them. It’s about the long-termed gains, the slow improvements each and every day. It’s about finding new passions (like barefoot running), learning new things (like bosu balls), and stepping outside the box. It’s about reaching out to those who understand you, those who have been there, those who need your support.
During my two week funk, I completely indulged in food, alcohol, and laziness, the complete opposite of a token weight loss blogger.
And I am ok with that.
Part of healthy living is about having downtime. You are allowed to feel at only 25%, because feeling at 100% all the time is simply tiring. Working through my funk, I realized that I am not a machine.
I needed time to recharge, to work things out, to re-discover my passions. Only then would I be ready to resume some sense of normalcy.
By having this blog, this open window into my life, I’ve come to learn one very important lesson:
You can only fail if you stop trying.
I will not be at 100% every single day.
I will have my ups and downs.
I will be lazy.
I will indulge.
I will lack discipline.
I will not lose a pound a week.
And that is ok.
This is me.
With all my imperfections, problems, fears.
This is me.
With all my triumphs, successes, victories.
With the good comes the bad.
But as long as I never give up, as long as I never call it quits, I can never – I will never – fail.
So be brave.
Be bold.
Don’t be afraid to start your healthy living journey.
It’s frightening, but at the same time, amazing.
You’ll laugh and cry.
You’ll trip and fall.
You’ll live and learn.
You’ll grow as a person, becoming stronger both mentally and physically.
It’s a long, hard road ahead, but it’s worth it.
What are you afraid of?
What is one of your flaws?
What do you want to be better at?
RELATED POSTS:
Female. 23 years old. Chinese. Cook. Foodie. UCLA grad. Traveler. Musician. Scuba diver. Law student. Runner.
I love this post because it is, as you know
, fitness and LIFE.
it all, for me right now, relates back to my mantra:
DONT DIG UP IN DOUBT WHAT YOU PLANTED IN FAITH.
my biggest flaw….
MizFit´s last blog My first run in my Vibram Five Fingers
Love this post. i just realized how much I live in fear. Fear of failure. I didn’t realize until recently that I only fail when I don’t try. It’s ok to be vulnerable and grow.
thanks for sharing!
Amen sistah!
It is SO hard to put yourself out there at first. I’m still scared of being judged completely, and I usually over-analyze everything that I post on my blog, for that fact alone. I even started a Twitter so I would tweet what I ate. That didn’t last long. I didn’t want to be judged, and the fear of judgement killed that idea.
But you are so right, the support and the SUCCESS that you get is worth it in the end, and knowing there are people cheering you on–most that you don’t even know–is a great feeling. The journey is tough, but again, and I can’t emphasize this enough, it’s more rewarding that you ever think that it could be.
This post reminds me a lot of the one I wrote today-and I loved the comment you left! For me, growing up I always thought that I was the only one with insecurities. When other people succeeded, I thought it was because they were special. I never considered that they may have failed on the way to the top.
karen@fitnessjourney´s last blog A Journey to the Unknown
bravo my dear Jess! what a wonderful post!! I hope Lizzie understands that she really will be OK, even better than that in the end, by taking that step.
Strangely enough, I was not afraid of the blog when I started. Maybe because I was too naive to know what I was getting into. But I have found, much to my surprise, that blogging brings me strength – there is so much support and inspiration and wisdom and community and introspection in the process. I have too many flaws to name!
One of my flaws is I have a difficult time forgiving myself for what I think is a mistake. 99% of the time they aren’t even mistakes. Hell even that 1% probably isn’t a mistake but rather choices and action that I make. When I feel like I’m not going balls to the walls I’m failing in this journey. I forget so easily that I’ve lost almost 70 pounds because I focus on the tiny loss this week.
I’m afraid I won’t keep going. I have a lot of goals that I don’t share because I’m afraid i’ll never find the courage to take that first step.
I want to be better at living this life to its fullest potential!
Tara´s last blog OWiS 30 on a Sunday
I looooooove this post. And totally agree that its hard to put yourself out there with blogging. Last night I was snacking the night away and was like “wait do i have to write about this?” No, I don’t HAVE to, but it feels good coming clean and showing that everyone has their own struggles!
Jess, I really appreciate you writing this. (And the commenters!!) I guess it isn’t the blogging part that scares me as much as the commitment to trying harder. When I talked to my mom about it yesterday she told me that I could do it and that I worked too hard (in the gym, cooking healthy meals) to sabotage myself so that I don’t see results. And, she is right. I have to get past this mental stuff of “can’t” and “i suck at this” and remind myself that failure ISN’T an option and not trying ISN’T an option. I have to try, and I think that writing it will help me accomplish my goals and hopefully show people that it can be done.
Girl, seriously – you are such a joy to read. Keep it up. WE look to you for everything from the ups and downs, life happens.
I am afraid I won’t ever find the patience I should with people. But adding in balance and yoga, they help me exhale.
I loved this post. It is so very true. I started mine just 15 days ago. I wanted to make this weight loss attempt successful. I tried to look at everything that made me fail before and try to come up with a new attitude towards changing my life. I know what doesn’t work. That is why my ‘goal’ is just an ounce a day
Slow and steady is my motto now.
Blogging is helping more than I ever thought possible, granted I am a newbie, but I feel like my blog is a huge motivation.
I do think that blogging your journey does leave you vunerable, but the benefits are enormous. Especially if you are someone who really finds writing theraputic and the support from the community inspiring. I love the blogging community.
I am sorry sweetie, I have company coming from Oregon on Saturday and I work Friday. Next time
I’m afraid of lots of stuff. I’m afraid of feeling rotten, I’m afraid of being depressed, and I’m afraid of feeling fat. It sounds shallow, but hey, I’m human, and hey, I’m a girl.
One of my biggest flaws is that I fall into the trap of social comparison. I compare my lifestyle, dietary choices, and exercise pattern to EVERYONE I know (and don’t know!). I find it difficult to live with my brother. I find it difficult to read some blogs. It’s annoying because everything triggers me. I’m sick and tired of always feeling unhealthy compared to everyone else. It’s really really annoying.
On a brighter note, I love your determination and humour. Keep sharing with us your wise blogging gems.
xoxo Aletheia
I’m so glad that you wrote this; I too often am afraid of sharing when I think I have failed, or haven’t been perfect, or am feeling like ranting and swearing and being completely negative. But the thing is, as the person (one of many) on the other side of your posts, it’s easy to congratulate you on a job well done, or re-enforce your great habits, but it’s far more satisfying to be able to support you when you actually need it. So, I wish you the best and hope you’re feeling good, but on the days you aren’t, we’re still here.
Mallory´s last blog 22 Visit a Vineyard
Such a great post!
Took your advice and did the thing that has been scaring me since I started my blog. Pictures are up now and I actually feel pretty awesome about it. It’s all about facing your fears and now I know I’m going somewhere and that this time it’s going to stick.
I’m afraid of spiders and anything that swims in the ocean, I can’t pay attention for more than like 5 minutes, and …
what were the questions again?
Oh yeah. I wish my memory was better.
Joe´s last blog The Growing Popularity Of The Half Marathon