Originally, I didn’t want to weigh-in today. But I decided that I needed to resume my official weekly weigh-ins.

They keep me focused.
They keep me motivated.
They keep me goal-oriented (even if I don’t achieve my goals every week).

I don’t accomplish the goals I set all the time. But having them there, knowing that there are things I want to achieve, forces me to work and strive harder.

I didn’t meet any of my goals this week.

Not even a single one.

And that’s ok.

I tried.

But I overestimated my strengths and abilities this week while goal-setting. I thought I would be able to do a two-minute wall-sit easily, but after a week of plenty of leg work and running, my quads weren’t feeling it.

I thought I’d be able to do a two-minute plank by now. Close, but not quite.

I didn’t get my swim in. No excuses. I just didn’t do it.

And Tara, I give you permission to nag me about making your dish. It’s taken awhile (far too long).

I barely even cook for myself now. I need to get back into the kitchen. I like it there. I like creating food, but I just haven’t felt that burst of creativity.

You know when writers have writer’s block? I have cooking and photography block.

Where’s my muse?

I need to rekindle my love for cooking soon.

The thing I’m most proud of this week was realizing that being vulnerable can be a beautiful feeling. It has helped me grow as a person, and even though I always want to put up a very powerful, strong appearance, I’ve discovered that I’m actually very sensitive.

The most important thing I’ve learned from this experience:
You can only fail if you stop trying.

Never give up.

Last week’s weight: 178.2

This week’s weight: 177.0 (down 1.2)

Last week’s goals:
1. Pack 1 box to ship to DC.
2. Swim 1600 meters.
3. Do a 2-minute plank.
4. Do a 2-minute wall chair.
5. Make Tara’s Couswalnachalicious.

This week’s goals:
1. Pack 1 box to ship to DC.
2. Swim 1600 meters.
3. Do a 2-minute plank.
4. Do a 2-minute wall chair.
5. Make Tara’s Couswalnachalicious.

Same goals. New week.

Do you like to cook?

What are your inspirations for cooking?

What is one new food/dish you’ve tried this week?

Random: How much do you love Nutella and/or peanut butter?

Related posts:

1. Weigh-in #16
2. Weekly Challenge #3: Mutiny!
3. Weigh-in #19

Most of us have one long-term goal. Some of us want to lose 100 pounds, others want to gain 20, and still others want to become marathoners and triathletes. It’s not difficult to set a long-term goal. We all know where we’d like to end up. We can all see the light at the end of the tunnel. Most of the time, however, that light is very faint because the path we must travel is very, very long. Our tunnels are dark and the light at the end seems so far away, so out of reach. As time wears on, the light at the end doesn’t appear to be getting any brighter or closer. We get tired of running in the dark tunnel.

And so we stop and give up. We stop running towards that light at the end. It’s too far away. It’s impossible. It can’t be done.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. The tunnel doesn’t have to be dark. You don’t have to run in pitch black towards a faint light. By setting small goals, you can light up your tunnel and make it easier to see the end. By making your tunnel bright, you no longer have to wander around in the dark. You no longer have to drag your feet towards a light that seems to be a million miles away because you now have smaller lights to aim for.

The previous times I’ve tried to lose weight, my main focus was always on that number on the scale. My only battle was with the scale. My only goal was to see the number go down. If it didn’t show a lower weight every week, I’d lose momentum and motivation. I wanted an immediate reward for all of my hard work. My only sense of pride came from seeing the scale move, and when it didn’t, I felt useless. My focus on weight led to an unhealthy relationship with food. I would restrict myself from chocolates, sweets, and fats. I cooked, but it was always the same four things. I would get bored and begin craving everything on my “bad” list. I would start obsessing about food. When my cravings could no longer be contained, I’d cave in. Binge. Feel guilty. Repeat. Sound familiar?

Eventually, I would just give up. Screw that light at the end of the tunnel. Who wants to get there anyway? It’s too far away. I’m done. I would binge until all my hard work became undone, and then I’d start trying to lose weight again. Even then, my tunnel was still dark. There was nothing else but weight, nothing else to keep me entertained or inspired.

I failed because I didn’t light up my tunnel. I kept running in the dark until I couldn’t handle it any more. I would give up and watch the light fade away.

But this time, it’s different because I AM lighting up my tunnel. I’m setting small goals, small victories that I can celebrate and be proud of. I feel rewarded and confident even if the scale doesn’t move. If it doesn’t move, so what? I’ve become much more than just a number.

I want to run a marathon sometimes this year. That seems pretty difficult right now, so a shorter, more achievable goal is the 10K. Did I start off running two to three miles a day? Nope, because I couldn’t. I started off trying to run for 5 minutes straight. That eventually turned into 10 minutes. Pretty soon, I was running a mile straight. Slowly but surely, I improved. The beautiful part about running is that I can physically see and feel the improvement. Remember the first time I ever ran 3.11 miles straight? That was a month ago. My time then? 37:08. My time now? 33:21. That’s four minutes faster in ONE month. Holy cow.

This time on my journey, I’m setting up little light markers along my tunnel to make sure that my path is paved brightly. I hate running in the dark. This time, I know exactly what I want to do and how I will get there. There is no uncertainty, no hesitation, no nothingness because my goals are established.

My tunnel is no longer a long stretch of pitch black. I now have closer lights to run towards. The light at the end of the tunnel is still far away, but the little lights along the way make it seem so much closer. My journey this time is much more exciting. I am rewarded on a daily basis, by running faster or farther, by lifting or benching more, by doing a push-up. Every day, I’m conquering my goals and setting new ones. The tunnel is becoming brighter and brighter.

I can see exactly where I want to go. I’m no longer a blind mouse running aimlessly, hoping that I’ll reach the end. Now, I KNOW I will reach the end. It’s only a matter of time. And really, there is no end. There’s always something to be working towards. There’s always new lights to run to.

So quit running in the dark and light up your tunnel.

What’s motivating you through the dark? What are your lights along the way?

The 4 oz. Burger – Dinner: homemade patty with ground beef, onions, parsley, and jalapenos on a toasted bun with swiss cheese, red onions, lettuce and a special sauce of mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, and Sriracha. So good. See you never, McD’s.

Last of the Lavash Pizza – Dinner: lavash, Swiss, Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, topped with thinly sliced zucchini, cherry tomatoes, onions, ground beef, and thyme. No more lavash makes me sad.

 

Consumption: 1840 calories, 36.85g of fat. Total steps: 13,005 (pedometer not worn during run)

click for full view

Workout: Treadmill run. Sauna. Stretch.

No strength training today. I needed a rest day from that. I did run for 2 miles with the Vibrams. Finished in 21 minutes, not a bad time. I then did one minute sprint, one minute recovery for six minutes. Fastest pace was a 7:30 mile.

 

Vibrams update: I LOVE THEM.

I went for a three-mile walk with my dad during the day. Legs felt great. No pain. Even the blister on each foot were fine, though I did put a band-aid on them for some additional protection, just in case. Funny thing. I’m 23, and we still only have Sesame Street band-aids in the house. I don’t know what that says about my family…

Two-mile run felt good, but I’ll have to work up to running a full 5K with the Vibrams. Not quite there yet. My calves are pretty tight right now. Barefoot running definitely exposes your weakest leg muscles. My quads are absolutely fine. My hamstring is a tad sore, but not too bad. My calves, however, will most likely be sore in the morning. I don’t focus on my calves much. Now, I won’t have to. My Vibrams will help me work them out.

All in all, a productive day for breaking them in. I’m trying very hard to convince my parents to convert. A whole family of gorilla feet. That would be amazing.

Related posts:

1. Weigh-in #11
2. Weigh-in #9
3. Day 101: The Tripping Stone