A lot of my focus this week has been controlling what I CAN do instead of focusing on what I can’t do. What I’ve realized is the only thing I have almost full control over is the present. The future, tomorrow, is always uncertain and unpredictable. Things change and happen unexpectedly. We can only be hopeful, but we have little control over what exactly happens tomorrow. The past, yesterday, is a was, a has been. We can reflect upon it, we can learn from it, but we can’t dwell on it since things already happened. Things that we can’t change. Things that we might wish never occurred, but history cannot be erased.
We do, however, have control over the present, today. We can set our goals. We can either meet them or not. Everyone has bad days. That’s expected. But those bad days will soon be ghosts of the past. What matters is that we move on from yesterday and do the most we can today in order to better tomorrow.
I won’t lie.
I constantly think about why I have failed in the past. I think of where I went wrong, what I did wrong, why I was wrong. I think about what I’m doing differently this time, why I am successful now as compared to in the past. I’m trying to use the past as a learning tool instead of an excuse. I can learn from my mistakes, but I can’t go back and change them.
If I did, I think I would be a different person. I wouldn’t be the Jess I am today. Everything I’ve done in the past has helped me reach the present. However, I can’t sit here regretting my four-month binge fest that led to a 40-pound gain. The fact is, I binged. The truth is, I shoveled food nonstop for four months straight. Back then, I knew I had to stop, but I didn’t. I kept postponing the present. I kept waiting for tomorrow to come. Tomorrow came and went. Instead of living, I started watching life pass me by.
But I can learn from the past. What I CAN do now is not let history repeat itself. What I CAN do is realize that what happened yesterday does not have to happen again today. What I CAN do is reflect on the past, recognize the signs that led up to my binge, identify my triggers, and spot them if they occur today. I have no control over the past, but I CAN control my actions today.
I won’t lie. I constantly look forward to the future too.
I start law school in August. What’s going to happen when I have a crazy amount of stress in my life? Am I going back to old habits?
I want to run a marathon sometimes this year. Am I going to be able to train hard enough for it? Will I survive 26.2 miles? Can I do it?
I want to be close to my goal weight by December. What about law school? How am I going to manage my new lifestyle with school? What if I can’t do it?
Along with uncertainty, the future brings FEAR. And fear leaves us stagnant, afraid to venture out of our comfort zone. Because of fear, I’ve put off a lot of things I could do today for tomorrow. “Oh, I’ll do that tomorrow, I’ll worry about that tomorrow.” But tomorrow comes, and I continue to postpone and delay. The truth is, I CAN face my fears, but I choose not to because it’s a difficult, scary thing.
But I shouldn’t be afraid. I should live for today. Today, I can slowly begin to overcome my fears. Today, I can slowly start to better myself. Today, I can walk towards success. I should try my best to do what I can today, so that tomorrow will be better, so that tomorrow will be easier.
If I run a 5K today, running a 5K tomorrow will be easier. If I resist drinking diet soda today, resisting drinking diet soda tomorrow will be easier. If I fill out my FAFSA today, I won’t have to fill it out tomorrow.
Sometimes, it’s hard to face the things we need to do today. We don’t want to do them because they’re difficult and stressful. They make us feel insecure, they make us feel weak. But just because we don’t do them today doesn’t mean they disappear tomorrow. What’s MORE likely is that WE disappear tomorrow.
So don’t put off what you can do today for tomorrow. You have control over your present, so grasp it firmly.
Live for today.
What will you do today that will better your tomorrow? How can you control the present?
Consumption: 1487 calories, 31.6g of fat. Total steps: 7,283 (pedometer not worn on run)
click for full view
Workout: 5K Treadmill run.
Yesterday, I ran my fastest 5K yet. 32:35. In Vibrams. I won’t say I’m fully adjusted to barefoot running yet since I have a blister on the side of my left foot today, but I’m getting there!
RELATED POSTS:
Female. 25 years old. Chinese. Cook. Foodie. UCLA grad. Traveler. Musician. Scuba diver. GWU Law. Runner.
are you sure you are only 23? you are wise way beyond your years! it took me until i was just about 40 to recognize i had an eating disorder, go to OA, go to therapy, etc. i’m now, at 42, binge-free for over 2 years, but damn, all these things you are writing about are WAY beyond where i was at your age.
anywho… you are right, the future does bring fear. you set goals, but work towards them one day at a time.
i can’t really control anyone or anything except for myself and the choices that i make. i chose to eat healthy and exercise.
Fantastic post! I especially love the last line.
Today I’m going to find time to get a workout in, even if I can’t make it to the gym! Love this post, Jess!
Beautifully put Jess! So true. I have had to learn that lesson too. I like to plan, but I have to ACT today.
This was awesome, definitely live for today! Embrace it!
And btw…that 5k time? WooT!
” I kept postponing the present.” <– I can totally relate to that.
It seems to me that you should have less to worry about in the future because you're building such a strong, positive foundation now. I say "should" because I know it isn't always that easy.
I'm working on being more in the present and being more mindful instead of so fretful about the past or the future. It is really hard because I am so inpatient, and I want everything to be in place NOW, but i know that isn't possible.
As far as my fitness goals go, I think that is one of the reasons why I focus on things I can control (working out, eating) instead of the scale because losing weight is really hard for me, and it is easier to be proud of numbers i'm in control of like.. reps and miles, than it is pounds.
Hi Jess!
You ran 5K in less than 33 minutes! Fantastic. I don’t understand why you want to lose weight. You must already be pretty fit.
Thank you for sharing these beautiful and motivating thoughts.
Holy crap – I’m jealous of your 5K time. incredible.
Also – the wise MizFit tweeted this today: This is my mantra today: worrying is praying 4 what u do not want. What’s your thurs.mantra? I feel like you are saying much the same thing in your post. Wise women you two…
.-= Meegan´s last blog 15 Reasons =-.
Well done on that 5k time. How long have you been wearing the vibrams?
Live for today figure out law school when it comes, no use stressing about it now, just put as many good habits into place as you can before it rolls around.
This is a solid post Jess. You continue to push the limits further than the day before. That is what I like most – hard work, level head, and willingness to put yourself out there. Good stuff!
Keep it up and that sub30 will come in no time. I think I might have it by May 8th, 2010. My times don’t seem real to me – like they are soooo unofficial. I’ve even driven the route a couple times just to make sure that my times are true. Blows my mind what we are able to do when we put our mind to it.
keep it up.
.-= seth@1010in2010´s last blog Lightning Run. Fitness GIVEAWAY! =-.
Awesome work on the 5K in Vibrams! And you’re absolutely right, while the past helps define the person we are today, we shouldn’t dwell on it, but instead live for today!
.-= Brandon´s last blog Weekly weigh-in #16: Physics Diet edition =-.