Most people think “unhealthy” when they think of pizza, fried rice, french fries, and ice cream.
I think YUM.
In the short two months since I re-started my weight loss journey, my relationship with food has changed. I used to be one of those people who thought pizza was evil, that pizza would make you gain 10 pounds overnight. Completely not true. The way I view food now is drastically different, and I am in a better place mentally because of it.
Why is this time different? What has changed?
My relationship with FAT GRAMS as well as my refusal to feel guilty about the foods I eat.
I used to be terrified of fat grams. I would only buy fat-free or super low-fat things. Fat-free yogurt, skim milk, fat-free cheese, you name it. Back in February, a “high” fat day was anything over 15 grams.
Low-fat was ingrained into my brain in 2006 because of weight-loss camp. I was taught that the only way to lose weight was to eat less than 20 grams of fat a day. My low-fat diet yielded some amazing results. At camp, I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks. But I did NOT have a healthy relationship with food. Everything not low-fat was “bad”. My off-limits list was endless. No chocolate, nuts, avocados, real cheese.
However, in my mind, “off-limit” things are always better. I would crave everything on my “can’t have” list. Eventually, I would binge, feel guilty, and repeat. I punished myself with guilt.
But that mentality is quickly fading away. I’m starting to not fear fat grams. I bought reduced-fat instead of fat-free cheese the other day. AND IT ACTUALLY MELTS! I eat almond butter, which has 18 grams of fat for 2 tablespoons. And I like it.
I’ve stopped having a “NO” list because I realized that there is nothing I can’t eat.
It’s not the end of the world if I eat a brownie. Even if I have one scoop of ice cream, I’m not going to gain all the weight I’ve lost back. That one scoop will satisfy me and make my little heart happy. That one scoop is comforting because it means that nothing is off-limits, that I’m not on a diet. My liberation from low-fat is amazing. I feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted. In the past, every time I ate something “high” in fat, I would feel horrible. I would feel like I’ve failed myself, when in reality, I was far from being a failure.
Lately, my fat grams have been around 35 grams daily, roughly 20% of my total intake. And you know what? It rocks. My skin is nice and soft. My hair is healthy and not falling out. Believe me, when you eat extremely low fat, your hair does NOT grow well. You know what the best part is? I can eat REAL CHEESE. Ok, maybe not the entire block at once, but man, do I love cheese. Particularly goat and brie.
Sometimes, not all of my food choices are the best for my body. And I’m ok with that. I really like Rice Krispie treats. By really like, I mean love. A Rice Krispie treat is not going to help me run a marathon, but it certainly appeases my mind. It might not be the best fuel for my body, but it’s necessary fuel for my sanity. Without that lingering, nagging feeling of guilt, I can move on with life and re-discover the magic and joys of food.
It matters that I don’t find my food boring and repetitive. It matters that I have minimal restrictions. It matters that I don’t wish to be eating something else. It matters that I’m happy when I eat.
So I refuse to feel guilty about foods that I put into my body. Guilt is a negative emotion that breeds negative thoughts. It is a bad feeling, it is regret. Well, I’m not about to regret eating the best steak ever. I’m not about to regret eating a Double Double Animal-styled from In-n-Out. These things might not be the best options for me physically, but they satisfy a void in my mind. They make me feel like I did not sacrifice the ability to live and enjoy life, like I’m still connected to the world.
I’m no longer jealous of people who can eat chili cheese fries. I’m no longer jealous of people who can eat carne asada burritos and nachos. Because I can have those things too.
If I really want it, I’ll MAKE it. Nothing is cheaper and better than homemade.
If I can’t make it, I’ll PORTION it. Fine, maybe I’ll only eat half of that Double Double.
And if I fail at portioning it out, I’ll ENJOY every bite of it. Tomorrow is a brand new day.
In the past, I would beat myself up over one bad choice, one bad meal. That transformed into more bad choices, more bad meals. I got caught up in all the negativity and was too busy focusing on all the things I did wrong instead of celebrating all the things I did right.
So screw feeling guilty. Screw feeling upset and down about that one extra cookie you ate. It’s ONE freaking cookie, and you know it was damn delicious. It’s NOT the end of the world. It’s NOT the end of your journey. Instead, celebrate how far along you’ve come. Praise yourself for everything you did, and are doing, right. Applaud yourself for all of your hard work, for all the sweat that you’ve poured, for all the positive changes you’ve made, in your life and in others’. That way, you’ll find it much easier to let go of that extra cookie. That way, you’ll find it much easier to resume what you were doing before: being awesome.
No regrets. NO GUILT.
What are THREE things that you have done WELL today? This week? This month?
Cauliflower Soup – Dinner: cauliflower, onions, carrots, chicken broth, parsley, thyme, and milk topped with bacon bits and mozzarella cheese.
Consumption: 1772 calories, 18.1g of fat. (pedometer not worn)
Of course, on the day I decide to blog about my fat gram revelation, they’re on the extremely low side. Oh well. I managed to eat an entire head of cauliflower for dinner and it was actually yummy!
click for full view
Workout: Chest. Triceps. Bosu push-ups.
click for full view
RELATED POSTS:
Female. 25 years old. Chinese. Cook. Foodie. UCLA grad. Traveler. Musician. Scuba diver. GWU Law. Runner.
I try to monitor my calories, and worry less about the exact mix of my macronuitrients (at this point, I’m sure that will change someday). If I don’t allow myself a Frosty from time to time (or other “treat” food) I’ll go crazy and totally binge.
Knowing I can eat anything – as long as it fits into my daily calorie allotment – keeps me sane and so far motivated. It’s only been six weeks, but for me that already feels like a lifetime more than I’ve ever tried to control myself before.
Thanks for the great post, Jess!
Love this. I’m so tired of feeling guilty about the things that I eat. I’m so tired of worrying about what other people think about the foods that I eat. Seriously IT IS JUST FOOD.
Also thanks for the Reader Appreciation comment on my blog! Love finding out new things about people!
I think that is why it is different for me as well. I went to a Mexican restaurant yesterday — enjoyed it — but continue to make smart choices. The one thing won’t make me fail – enjoy it.
good post Jess!
Great post!
I think a big problem is that people often blur the lines with where a “treat” (like a Rice Krispie treat, or chocolate, or candy) becomes a habit. It is really hard to go anywhere without being bombarded with treats. Every grocery store, gas station, and pharmacy has 20+ “treats” on the way through the check-out line, staring us in the face. It is easy to start thinking of these treats as daily snacks as opposed to what they should be: Something to be enjoyed on occasion.
I think this over saturation of treats is why people feel they have to shut them out completely to succeed (and in some cases, for some people, I agree that is the best approach). But the goals you talked about is spot on: you want to get to a point where you have a healthy relationship with food. So that a single treat will not lead you into a binge of junk. So you can pass on the candy aisle without getting cravings. But also to get your body to a point where you don’t have to worry so much about the day to day.
BTW, that soup looks frickin’ tasty,
Whoops, didn’t mean to make that a reply to Seth’s comment.
Thank you for this post…i started my journey in weight loss a couple weeks before you did and feel i can really relate to what you are going through/ have gone through. This post was amazing, keep up the great work i look forward to reading more of your blog!
Great post! I too have learned not to feel guilty about eating ‘bad’ foods. That’s why it’s working for me this time, I’m not so focused on things I can’t have. Because I can have anything I want. It’s great!
Three things I’ve done well this month:
1) I’ve completed 4 weeks of C25K, even though I wanted to quit the first week.
2) I learned that I’m not perfect and that’s okay.
3) I worked out twice on a couple of days this month.
Can’t wait to see what I do well in the month of May!
Great post!
I think a big problem is that people often blur the lines with where a “treat” (like a Rice Krispie treat, or chocolate, or candy) becomes a habit. It is really hard to go anywhere without being bombarded with treats. Every grocery store, gas station, and pharmacy has 20+ “treats” on the way through the check-out line, staring us in the face. It is easy to start thinking of these treats as daily snacks as opposed to what they should be: Something to be enjoyed on occasion.
I think this over saturation of treats is why people feel they have to shut them out completely to succeed (and in some cases, for some people, I agree that is the best approach). But the goals you talked about is spot on: you want to get to a point where you have a healthy relationship with food. So that a single treat will not lead you into a binge of junk. So you can pass on the candy aisle without getting cravings. But also to get your body to a point where you don’t have to worry so much about the day to day.
BTW, that soup looks frickin’ tasty,
Good for you! It does us no good to say things are off limits, because a moment of weakness will come, and for some of us (I’m looking mostly at me, not you) that leads to a binge. Everything in moderation. That should be my mantra.
As far as my three things:
1) I started couch to 5K.
2) I’ve hit the gym more often than not, even though my diet hasn’t been the greatest.
3) I’ve started eating salads again. I need so many more veggies in my diet than I get.
.-= Jeremy Logsdon´s last blog Aurorae Yoga Mat Giveaway! =-.
This is THE PERFECT point of view. Nice! I think I’ll be linking to this tonight. Awesome. I’ve really been coming to this realization, too.
awesome post!!! I have such trouble eating, because it’s all or nothing for me. Either I eat next to nothing, or I give up and eat everything in sight. Congratulations on a very healthy way to see this, and thanks for giving me a new perspective!!
love it!!
forbidden foods create the need to binge. take that label off and suddenly they are no big deal.
and you are so right, one full fat item, or two or three in one meal are not going to make 30 lbs fly onto your body overnight.
Great post, and a great mindset to have! Nothing should be off limits because you’re only going to end up craving it more.
.-= Steve´s last blog #amerryworkoutpledge is back! =-.
So agreed. What is life if you can’t enjoy some good food?
I <3 your point of view on this. I completely agree. If we're changing our relationship with food for a lifetime of health, there is absolutely no way its sustainable to think we're never going to eat full fat cheese, or rice krispie treats or things that are 100% good for our bodies. Its just about finding that balance, knowing its ok to treat ourselves without feeling guilty and enjoying the foods we love – both the truly healthy and the not so healthy and everything in between.
I love food. Always will. And that's a good thing!
.-= Meegan´s last blog Lets Talk Cardio =-.
I’m not forbidding any food. I’m just choosing not to eat it right now. I will eat all those delicious treats / food that I miss but in hind sight what I’m doing now is way worth the wait. However, I may just go and get a scoop of ice cream this weekend and walk around while enjoying it!
Today:
1. I had a fantastic session with superman
2. I’m gonna finish a gallon of water for sure!
3. I motivated 4 of my friends to do a local WWC
.-= Tara´s last blog Change / Run / No Gym declaration update =-.
That was one of the most difficult shifts in perspective for me…going from restricting myself from eating certain foods to reaching the realization that restricting these foods were the very reason that I couldn’t get a handle on my weight. It’s difficult to imagine being able to eat a serving of ice cream anytime you want it, but it really is possible…and doesn’t cause weight gain when it’s incorporated wisely.
I love this!! I still have so many food issues I’m working through, so it is good to see you have some really great breakthroughs. For me, I’ve always been afraid of carbs more than fat grams. I think the sugar-is-evil, carbs-are-evil has been drilled into me from birth, and that sucks because i LOVE carbs.
Oh and your soup looks awesome even though I’ve never liked cauliflower, that makes me want to try again.
I lost most of my weight on a restricted calorie diet, so while I could eat unhealthy things, I couldn’t have much of them. Since my activity level has gone up I have increased my calories, and I really don’t count them, I am just vaguely aware of them. I am trying to shift focus onto nutrition.
I give myself one cheat snack and one cheat meal a week, and I do NOT feel guilty when I eat them. The rest of the time I eat very clean. I think it works out to about 20-25% fat in my diet. It’s mostly flax, avocado and peanut butter (and whatever I had for my cheat). Healthy fats are necessary and good for you, and so is wiggle room!
Not fair! Not fair! I want that cauliflower soup! Shall I beg you for the recipe? I can do that.
.-= Yum Yucky´s last blog Text Message Calorie Burners =-.
love this post and I totally agree..once a month on my no count day…I eat one deep fried chicken chimichanga slathered in fake cheez whiz and pico de gallo and white rice, with shredded cabbage and a root beer.
I eat every bite and I enjoy every bite.
Then I LET IT GO.
I think this is the perfect way to look at food. Nothing should be completely off limits. Anything that you set in your mind as being off limits is going to seem just that more tempting – the “forbidden fruit”. If I really want that bowl of ice cream, I go ahead and have it. Sure, I have a much smaller bowl than I would have had previously, but I still get to enjoy the ice cream.
Everything, in moderation.
.-= Brandon´s last blog Weekly weigh-in #17 =-.