I used to hate shopping.

Why?

Because I’m just not girlie.

Shopping is…
…a waste of time.
…a waste of money.
…a waste of living.

Instead of pampering myself with clothing, I chose to spoil myself with traveling, camera equipment, and records.

But the tomboy act was all an excuse.

Truth be told, I avoided the dressing room because I didn’t want to put on something that didn’t fit. Each article of clothing that was too small or too tight made me feel insecure and horrible about myself.

Clothes made me face the truth, the harsh reality that I am fat.

My frustration with my body turned into hatred for stylish, cute clothing because those types of clothes reminded me of everything that I wasn’t. I think a piece of me cried inside each time I couldn’t fit into a top I liked.

I masked my hurt and pain with dislike because hating something is easier than trying to fix the problem.

I was so convinced that I hated shopping. I think the last time I shopped for fashionable clothing was back in 2006.

Insecure much?

On Tuesday, I randomly decided to go shopping at Ross with my mom.

What the hell, why not?

I wanted new dresses. I wanted to feel good about my body, ditch the old clothes and embrace my feminine side.

And guess what?

Everything I tried on fit! The sizes ranged from 11 to 14 but it didn’t matter. Every dress and jacket I tried on zipped or buttoned.

I no longer have to buy clothes out of necessity. I can now pick my clothes and not have my clothes pick me.

I can choose to not buy something because I didn’t like how it fit, not because it couldn’t fit.

I ended up buying my first pair of leggings, and they actually look decent on me.

Who would’ve thought…

I realized that I thoroughly enjoy shopping, even though it is an extremely tedious and tiresome sport. Seriously.

Shopping is a workout in and of itself. An amazing one, too.

Here’s a look at me and my lovely haul (all for under $100) with special guests Monster Calves and Squinty Eyes.

Do you enjoy shopping?

What’s your favorite store to shop in?

How do you shop on a budget?

Related posts:

1. Project Bridesmaid & A Fast 5K
2. Day 122: Regrets
3. My Highest Weight, My Lowest Point

One of my favorite cross-training activities is strength training. Whether it is through weight lifting or body weight exercises, strength training is essential for a strong, fit, healthy body.

Ladies – muscles are hot.
Not only on the dudes, but on you too.

Dudes – balance, balance, balance.
Having arms bigger than the size of my head but legs smaller than my wrist is not attractive.

1. GET OVER YOUR FEARS.

Many people don’t strength train because they’re afraid of being judged by those super fit guys pounding out 5 million pull-ups and 10 billion push-ups.

In reality, those guys don’t care.
They’re too busy focusing on their own routine to pay attention to you. Unless you’re grunting like a dying gazelle, nobody will even notice how many pounds, reps, or sets you can do.

Stop worrying about them, and focus on you. Do this for yourself. Get over your insecurities, and start strengthening your mind and body. Empower yourself through weight lifting and strength training.

 

2. ENGAGE YOUR CORE.

Although six-packs are super hot, your abs are not there to look attractive. They actually serve a very vital function: to keep your spinal cord in place so that you can maintain an upright position (also known as posture). Your abs and lower back make up your core.

Your primary source of power comes from your core.
Use it. You punch harder when the motion comes through your center and not just from the arm. You kick higher when the power originates from your core and not just from the leg.

Imagine that all of your power is stored as a great ball of fire in your core. In order to access this power and release this ball of fire, you have to hold your abs in and engage your core.

When I strength train and weight lift, I always hold my core in tight. My abs are flexed when I bench press, squat, lunge, and even when I do an assisted pull-up. You have more power that way.

I very rarely have ab-specific training days, and I never do sit-ups. Engaging your core during every activity is a workout in and of itself.

 

3. DEADLIFT.

My favorite exercise. Ever. It’s an intense and amazing workout for your quadriceps, hamstring, glutes, abs and lower back. I always end up in a pool of sweat after deadlifting. Sexy, right?

Body Recomposition has a wonderful how-to guide, including photos, for a clean style deadlift.

I am also a huge fan of the Romanian deadlift. Here is an awesome video tutorial showing the proper form for doing a Romanian deadlift.

 

4. DITCH THE MACHINES.

You do not need machines to become stronger. In fact, everything you can do with and on a machine, you can actually replicate with free weights and your body weight.

Machines prevent the body from using its natural stabilizing muscles. They force your range of motion, instead of allowing you to establish your natural range. You do not engage your core as effectively or efficiently when you use a machine because the machine is balancing and supporting for you.

In short, machines suck. Morpheus and Neo would agree.

Use your body weight, dumbbells and barbells. Squatting 200 times in a row with just your body weight is pretty tough. Doing a wall chair for 5 minutes is bloody hard. Even completing one full-form push-up is an amazing feat.

So stop using the machines.

Instead, embrace your innate abilities and let your body do what it was designed to do.

 

5. LIFT HEAVY.

None of this high rep, low weight garbage. That’s just a waste of time.

Ladies, if you’re afraid of looking like Hulk Hogan, realize that it’s just not naturally possible. Unless you’re doping up and shooting some serious testosterone, women are just not genetically designed to be as muscular as men are. You’d have to purposefully try to look like a guy in order to look like a guy.

So bump up your weights.
You can do better than 5 pounds. I usually aim for 3 to 4 sets of 6-10 reps. The last rep is always extremely difficult or not possible. I lift until failure (my muscles cannot complete an additional rep) while still maintaining good form.

To give you an idea of what I lift…
My max bench press (one repetition) is 90 pounds. I deadlift 3 sets of 5 reps at 150 pounds. I bicep curl 15-20 pound dumbbells per arm, depending on if I’m super or triple setting. I’m up to 9 full-form push-ups in a row, and I’m trying damn hard to do that pull-up.

Push yourself to the limit. Your muscles will only strengthen if they are forced to.

Strength training is essential. You are only as strong as your weakest link. Weight lifting also helps you feel and see physical progress without using a scale.

Runners, swimmers and cyclists all need strong muscles as do yoga masters, kickboxers, and dancers. Most importantly, humans need strong muscles in order to survive.

So lift and strength train. Become strong, not for me or anyone else, but for yourself.

Need a basic strength training workout? Steve from Nerd Fitness just posted a free one.

What is your favorite strength training exercise?

What strength training goals do you have?

How can I help?

Related posts:

1. Strength Training
2. Do the Cindy
3. Exercise vs. Training

A few people have asked me what training plan I used to train for my first Half Marathon. Truth is, I didn’t exactly have one. I knew what had to get done, but I didn’t map out each and every step of the way. It’s just not in my personality to micromanage my life. I like to go with the flow, take things as they come.

I don’t function well on plans. Plans are too rigid, too confining, and too strict. I like to do things on my own terms, in my own time, by my own way.

I tend to think of plans as rough guidelines. I know I have to get from point A to point B, but to reach that destination, who said you had to go in a straight line? Why not stop at point V, J and Q along the way? Maybe you’ll learn, see, or try something new. One thing’s for certain: you’ll be changed.

RUNNING

Most of the time, I run for enjoyment. But in order to run my Half, I knew I had to get some long runs in. I knew I had to increase my endurance and stamina by putting in the work and running the miles.

My plan of attack?

Run one more mile each time. This only applies to long runs. I never planned when my long runs were going to occur. If I felt great and fully charged on a Wednesday, then it was happening on a Wednesday. If I didn’t, well then it’ll happen on a Thursday. I always made sure the long runs happened, but the details were never solidified. They just happened when I was ready. I made sure I was prepared by race day, but I never mapped out a weekly or monthly training schedule. I just knew what I had to do and then did it.

GROCERY SHOPPING

I don’t go grocery shopping with an actual written list. What if I see something absolutely fantabulous at the store? Like mangosteen or cherimoya?

My list is usually short because I know what’s missing from my fridge and what needs to be replenished. It’s usually something along the lines of peanut butter, almond butter, yogurt, or milk. Everything else? I buy on a whim. If I feel like eating broccoli, I’ll buy broccoli. If not, I’ll buy some other veggies. The possibilities are endless.

I find enjoyment from browsing the grocery store. I like to see what new things they have, like high fiber Fritos. I like to look at the different types of cheeses. I am addicted to smelling fruits. I pick up every vegetable I’ve never seen before. I study the different types of meat cuts and the different parts. When you take the time to look, you’ll find so many interesting things you’ve never seen before.

Not having a list helps me experiment with new foods and branch out of my comfort zone because I haven’t limited myself to a few select items. The whole store is my playground. And believe me, at Asian markets, there are some strange things I’ve never seen before.

EATING & COOKING

I absolutely never plan my meals. Can’t do it. How can you possibly know what you want to eat Friday when it’s only Monday? What if you have a terrible craving for cabbage (yes, I crave cabbage and spinach…) for Wednesday dinner but you had planned to have spaghetti?

My plan of attack?

Open the fridge and look in the pantry. Some days, I feel like noodles. Well, what kind of noodles? There’s linguine, spaghetti, rice noodles, vermicelli, soba, etc. What kind of sauce? White, red, soy, cheese, lemon, curry. What about meat? I basically build my own dishes in my head every single day. Some days, I’m lazier than others. I know it takes 10 minutes to create my lavash pizza. Other days, I’m feeling like an Iron Chef, so I take my time and concoct something delicious.

Cooking comes with practice. Putting together a meal is based on experience. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

Being spontaneous, especially in the kitchen, is such a treat. There’s 5 million ways to eat pasta. So why not experiment?!

TRAVELING

After backpacking for 7 months on my own, I know that I will never be able to plan my vacations any more. When I left for Southeast Asia, I bought a train ticket from Shanghai, China to Nanning, China, then took a bus into Vietnam. I had no travel guides. I only searched the internet for some rough details, usually the name of a hostel, and wandered the streets when I got there.

The best way to see a city is to get lost in it. You’ll find where the locals go, you’ll discover where they shop, where they eat, where they buy clothes. You’ll find places off the beaten track, places not marketed just for tourists. And the experience is priceless, more than any guidebook can ever hope to show you.

I had originally planned to travel for only 3 months but I didn’t even have a plane ticket home so I decided to stay for 7 months. Originally, I wanted to see every single country. But I only ended up getting through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Laos, Malaysia and Singapore. I’m a slow traveler. I like soaking everything in, taking my time, experiencing the culture. I don’t like rushing through countries just to say I’ve been there.

When you travel, it’s not the quantity, but the quality that counts.

I love learning about other cultures. I would rather eat, drink and hang out with locals than other travelers. I didn’t go to another country to hang out with other foreigners and speak English. I can do that back home. I went to learn something new. I want to see what the locals see, hear what they hear, eat what they eat. It’s opened my eyes (I ended up in a village with no electricity, no cars, and no telephone poles).

I never knew what city I’d be going to next. I usually had an idea, but it was never ingrained in stone until I hopped on a bus. I would talk to other travelers, find some things on Travelfish.org, look at Couchsurfing.org, and occasionally borrow somebody else’s Lonely Planet (which I absolutely despise). People love talking about their traveling experiences, and they’ll usually tell you where they enjoyed going. You can learn so much by just talking to others.

Sometimes, I’d rent a motorbike and just take off for a few days. I actually learned and rode my first motorbike in Vietnam, but ended up loving it. It’s the most efficient way to travel within a city. I did a 4 day motorbike excursion on my own through the back country of Laos, and it was incredible. I had no pressure to be anywhere, no set schedule. Shit happens (my motorbike broke down) but I dealt with it (I fixed the motorbike on my own, somehow).

I rarely booked anything in advance.

Hostels? I just showed up. If they were full, I went somewhere else. If I was desperate, I either knocked on somebody’s door and offered them money (which they usually refuse) or I went to a temple and asked the monks if I could stay (they gave me a mat and a mosquito net so I slept outside).

Buses and trains? I usually just went to the station and hopped on the next available bus. Sometimes, I would stand on the side of the road to try to hail down a bus or songthaew, and they always stop. Always. Even if they’re full, they will manage to squeeze you on. And you usually negotiate the price. Other times, I would just hitchhike. Once, it took me 2 hours to hail down a vehicle. I was carrying 30 pounds of gear on my back and walking in 90 degree heat for at least 5 kilometers, but then I ended up getting a free ride with some really nice people. It was worth it.

I ziplined through the jungles of Laos, I did a liveaboard to the Similan Islands where I scuba dived 19 times in 4 days, and I learned enough Vietnamese, Khmer, Thai, Lao and Malay while I was there to be functional. Even now, a year later, I can still have a very basic conversation in Thai or Lao. As a traveler, you’re visiting somebody else’s country. Show some respect. The locals love it when you can speak their language. Why does everyone HAVE to learn English? Why can’t we learn their language? Plus, there are always perks when you can speak the local tongue. Like cheaper or free food.

I ate at street vendors, roadside stalls, down alleyways. And sometimes, I had to point at what I wanted. Believe me. Sign language works like a charm. I ended up finding out the local price for food and transportation, which helped me when I bargained and haggled. I knew when I was being ripped off and when the price was fair. It’s all part of the process. You can’t learn any of this on a plan. It just happens.

Being spontaneous helped me save money. It helped me open my eyes and see the world. It helped me experience the local way of life. I know that I will never be able to travel with a travel company. I can never travel on a tight schedule, mapping out every single thing I’m doing at every waking hour. It’s too stressful, and I believe traveling should be relaxing, interesting and fun.

THE “NO PLAN” PLAN

Most of the time, the most amazing, life-changing things happen on a whim. Nobody plans for them. They just happen. Originally, I just wanted to be able to run a 5K by July. Who knew I would’ve been ready to run a Half Marathon by June? Things change. Embrace and welcome the change.

I love flexibility, I love spontaneity, and I love not having a defined plan.

It’s liberating. It’s freeing. It leaves the doors for opportunity wide open.

I’m not a planner. I don’t think I ever will be. And honestly, I like it better that way.

Are you a planner? Or do you follow a “no plan” plan?

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3. Running From Scratch

I love going to the gym. It’s where I go to de-stress, get my aggression out, and train. But, as with all public environments, there are people who are extremely inconsiderate of others and act as if they’re the only ones using the gym. Buddy, I’m paying the exact same membership fees as you are, so show me some respect too. This goes for both guys and girls. The gym isn’t your house, so don’t treat it as such.

Don’t be THAT guy or girl.

My LEAST favorite person at the gym. You used a set of weights. That’s great. I’m glad you’re lifting. But you couldn’t return it to the rack? You obviously could pick it up, so put it back please. Other people need to use it too. I don’t care if it’s 5 pounds. I don’t care if it’s 50 pounds. You used it. Put it back.

Hunting down misplaced dumbbells is time-consuming and annoying. No one should have to clean up after YOUR mess. It takes less than ten seconds to re-rack weights, so do it. As much as I think you’re bad ass for bench pressing 225 pounds, removing four 45-pound plates should be YOUR job when you’re finished, not mine.

This is not limited to just dumbbells. Barbells, weight plates, bosu balls, yoga balls, mats, foam rollers, ANYTHING.

If you used it, return it to its proper location.

I know the last rep is brutal. You’re giving it all you’ve got. Your arms are ready to fall off. Your legs feel like they’re ready to buckle. But I promise you, grunting like you’ve got a hernia won’t make you stronger. Adding to my gym soundtrack won’t make you put on more muscle. You don’t need to grunt like a dying bull every single rep. Sounding like you’re constipated will not earn you more gym cred nor will it help you bulk.

Tone it down, buster.

I know you’re working hard. I don’t need to hear it, too.

Seriously. You HAD to drop that 60-pound barbell from four feet above the ground? That’s just dangerous. For you and everyone around you. I realize that once again, you might be giving 150% of your effort and your arms feel like they’re ready to detach from your body. But despite what you might see in YouTube videos of Olympic weightlifters completing cleans and dropping the bar, you’re not an Olympic weightlifter, you’re most likely not doing cleans, and you’re at a crowded gym where other people are walking around or near you.

Please don’t break my foot.

The entire row of treadmills is open and you HAD to take the one immediately next to mine. All treadmills are created equal. Those ten other ones you see? Yeah, they work too. I’m flattered that you want to run right next to me because that means I don’t stink.

But I like my space. Don’t you?

And last but not least…

I use my iPhone as my iPod but personally, I HATE it when I get phone calls during my workouts. It interrupts my personal time. My gym time is when I fully unplug and concentrate on myself, disconnecting from the outside world. I realize that sometimes, there’s important phone calls that need to be taken, so go answer them outside or tell the person you’ll call them back. Your friend will not cry a river if you drop their call.

Also, nobody at the gym needs to hear about how wasted you got last night. Nobody at the gym needs to hear about that guy you picked up at the bar. And frankly, nobody at the gym gives a damn about that new Gucci purse you just bought. If you need to be on the phone for longer than 5 minutes, take it outside. Bragging about last night’s hook-up does not make you a hot shot.

Nobody at the gym cares.

So get your workout in. Be efficient. Be effective. But be courteous as well.

Remember: Don’t be THAT guy.

Who’s on your THAT guy list?

Pizza Margherita – Dinner: lavash topped with tomato paste, fresh tomatoes, white onions, fresh mozzarella cheese, and fresh basil.

Asparagus, Mushrooms & Feta Pizza – Dinner: lavash topped with asparagus, mushrooms, white onions, thyme, Swiss cheese, mozzarella cheese and Feta cheese.

Nacho Fries – Dinner: baked fries topped with black beans, ground pork, onions, Colby Jack cheese, fresh tomatoes, and jalapenos.

Consumption: 2383 calories, 69.25g of fat.

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Workout: Biceps. Triceps. Interval run. Swim.

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Swam a total of 600 meters with 300 meters freestyle non-stop.

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For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be skinny, to be thin. I’ve always wanted to have the “perfect” beach bod. I’ve always wanted to look like the models and celebrities in magazines.

But not any more.

I don’t want to be thin. I don’t want to be skinny.

I want to be HEALTHY. I want to be FIT.

I’ve come to realize that striving for fitness motivates me more than wanting to be thin. Human beings were never meant to be “thin”. We were meant to run away from predators. We were meant to hunt, to scavenge, to farm. None of that requires being thin, but they do require us to be fit and healthy. In order to survive, we had to be able to sprint quickly, to run up trees, to jump high, to be athletes.

Instead of aiming to look thin, I want to be able to do what my body was meant to do. I want to be athletic. I want to be able to run, to lift my body weight, to climb mountains, to swim oceans. My body is a beast, a machine, so I’m going to treat it as such. Its capabilities are not confined to “being thin.” I would be shortchanging my body, and myself, if I limited it to being skinny and slim.

I’m no longer losing weight to look a certain way. I’m losing weight to BE a certain way: healthy and fit.

I’m not losing weight to fit into cuter, smaller clothes. That’s just an additional perk. I’m not losing weight to get a nice bikini body. That’s also another bonus.

I’m losing weight because I want to live longer. Every pound I lose decreases my chance of developing a weight-related disease, like Type II diabetes, so that I can hike Mt. Everest eventually. Every pound I shed hypothetically increases my life expectancy so that I can qualify for the Boston Marathon one day.

Every pound I drop means one less pound for my body to carry, meaning I have a better chance of running faster, longer. Every pound I leave behind makes it easier for me to do a pull-up and complete more push-ups. Every pound brings me closer to overall health and fitness.

Being skinny does not help me achieve anything. It does not make me happier. It does not make me proud. But being fit enables me to accomplish my life goals. Being healthy mentally and physically means I can continuously better myself, making a difference in both my life and someone else’s. Striving for fitness allows me to believe in myself, to have confidence. My energy does not radiate from my appearance any more. It comes from my newfound mental and physical strength.

Trying to be thin made me a negative person because I was never “thin enough.” Striving for health and fitness makes me recognize and appreciate all the small improvements my body makes on a daily basis. I might not be losing a pound every day, but I can certainly lift a pound heavier, run a minute longer, every day. These small improvements make me happy because they give me hope. They affirm that I’m improving my life. They make me proud.

When I wanted to be thin, I only had one goal, and that was to improve my outward appearance.
Now that I want to be healthy and fit, I have many, many goals. Countless numbers of them. And I’m bettering myself, both mentally and physically, every single day.

I want to run. An ultra? Perhaps.
I want to hike. Mt. Everest, here’s looking at you.
I want to bike. Gran Fondo? Yes.
I want to swim. A mile.
I want to triathlon. Half Iron? Maybe.
I want to travel. To all seven continents.

I WANT TO LIVE.

It has nothing to do with being thin any more. It has everything to do with being healthy and giving myself a chance to live long enough to accomplish everything I want to achieve.

So aim for health. Scratch out the idea of being thin.
Aim to be the best that you can be, physically and mentally.
Your best isn’t to be thin.
You’re much, MUCH more than that.

Why do you want to be healthy and fit?

Consumption: 1940 calories, 62.1g of fat.

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Workout: Bench press. Chest. Bench push-ups. Timed Mile.

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Remember The Matrix and how much it rocked when it came out in 1999? Can you believe it’s been more than a decade?! Anyway, I decided to watch The Matrix last night. Instead of simply being a movie, The Matrix became something else, something bigger. Neo’s transformation from boring Mr. Anderson into The One parallels a non-runner’s transformation into a runner.

And with that, I present to you…

The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. YOU ARE A RUNNER. But the Matrix has you believe otherwise. YOU CAN RUN. But the Matrix attempts to hold you back, preventing you from achieving greatness. You are a slave kept inside a prison, a prison for your mind. You are restricted by no physical bounds, only psychological ones.

Choose the blue pill, and the story ends. You go back to being who you were. You go down the path that you’ve always chosen. You stay within the Matrix, doing the same routine that you’ve always known. You succumb to your mind’s fabricated lies. You choose to believe that you are not a runner, that you cannot and will never be able to run. Morpheus could only show Neo the door, but Neo had to be the one to walk through it. I can tell you over and over again that you are a runner, that you CAN run, that you are ABLE to run, but I cannot force you to believe it.

Choose the red pill, and you liberate your mind. You free yourself from your mental constraints, from the psychological bounds inhibiting you from running. You break down the walls that have imprisoned you both mentally and physically. You tear down the excuses that have prevented you from running. You believe in yourself. You believe that you can run and nothing can hold you back.

So what will it be, Neo? Red or blue?

Step Two: GIVE YOURSELF TIME AND NEVER GIVE UP.

When Neo gets unplugged from the Matrix and brought aboard Morpheus’ ship, he had to undergo some major reparations. His muscles had atrophied. Even his eyes were weak. It took a lot of time and patience for his body to adjust to the changes. Just like Neo, your choice to run means that your body will require time to adjust and strengthen, so you must be patient. You have never used some of those muscles before. Your body is new to running. Treat it as such. Give it time. Be patient. The Matrix has had you bound for a long while. It will take time for you to condition yourself. It will take time for you to adjust to running. It will take time for you to overcome shin splints, burning lungs, cotton mouth. It will take time for you to increase your speed and endurance. So be patient.

After Neo’s body properly healed, his first training session was to fight Morpheus. Time and time again, Morpheus knocked him down. But time and time again, Neo got back up. He did not quit after one try. He did not quit after two. He did not quit, period.

You might not be able to run a minute today, so try the day after tomorrow. Try next week. Try next month. Keep trying. If you falter once, twice, or even a hundred times, do not give up. Sooner or later, you will succeed. Sooner or later, you will reach your goal. The important thing is to be persistent and consistent. Never give up.

Step Three: SEEK OUT YOUR SUPPORTERS

Neo did not wait to be found by Morpheus. He waited night and day in front of his computer searching for Morpheus. He wanted answers to his questions, so he looked for people who knew. He looked for people who were liberated from the Matrix because they could help him find the truth. And these people became his biggest supporters. Morpheus and Trinity believed without a doubt that he was The One. Morpheus was ready to sacrifice his life in order to save Neo’s. When Neo wanted to go rescue Morpheus from the agents, Trinity did not let him go alone. She was right by his side.

Find people who love to run. Ask them how they train. Ask them why they love running. Ask them how they have liberated their minds. They will guide you. They will comfort you. They will support you. They will train with you, they will motivate you, they will inspire you. They understand when you’re having a rough time with running because, chances are, they’ve been in the same situation as well. Surround yourself with people who have a passion for what you’re doing because they will believe in you, despite what you and others may think. They will believe that you are capable of running, even on days when you don’t even believe in yourself. They know that you are a runner, even if you might not think so.

Find your Trinity. Find your Morpheus.

Step Four: FIGHT THE AGENTS

Agent Smith was nothing and everything all at once. He could shift shapes and transform almost instantaneously. He instilled fear. He caused destruction. He was ruthless.

Agent Smith is your fear, your self-doubt, your hesitation. He is your excuses, your mental roadblock. He is your tripping stone. But you have to face him. You have to fight him.

In the subway station, Neo was not afraid of the agent. He did not run. Instead, he faced his fears head on because he started to believe in himself. He became The One. Time and time again, Agent Smith attacked him, but Neo fought on. Even when the agent had him in a choke hold, he did not give up. He did not let his fears overcome and control him.

Whether it stems from your age, your gender, your weight, or any other reason, your fear of running has the ability to grab you in a choke hold and prevent you from progressing forward, from fulfilling your destiny, from becoming The One. Don’t give in to your fears. Don’t run away from it. Face it head on. Fight it. And beat it.

Your excuses, usually in the form of “I can’t do it,” has the ability to toy with your mind, to break you down. Do not let them win and take you over. Do not let your excuses prevent you from trying, from giving it your best, each and every day. Face your excuses. Realize that your excuses and fears are only a figment of your imagination. There is no spoon.

Step Five: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Neo defeated the agents because he believed in himself. He realized that the bullets weren’t real, that his fears did not exist. He believed in his own strength and abilities. He knew what he was capable of. He relinquished all self-doubt and was born anew. “Neo” even means “new”. Coincidence? I think not.

Believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it. Believe from deep within your heart that you are a runner. Cross out “I am going to be a runner” and insert “I AM a runner.” Substitute “I can’t do it” with “I CAN do it.” You need to believe that you are The One. You need to believe, without a doubt, that you are a runner.

I know you are, but I can only show you the door. You must walk through it yourself.

Become your own Neo. Become The One.

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3. 5 Tips For Running

Most people think “unhealthy” when they think of pizza, fried rice, french fries, and ice cream.

I think YUM.

In the short two months since I re-started my weight loss journey, my relationship with food has changed. I used to be one of those people who thought pizza was evil, that pizza would make you gain 10 pounds overnight. Completely not true. The way I view food now is drastically different, and I am in a better place mentally because of it.

Why is this time different? What has changed?

My relationship with FAT GRAMS as well as my refusal to feel guilty about the foods I eat.

I used to be terrified of fat grams. I would only buy fat-free or super low-fat things. Fat-free yogurt, skim milk, fat-free cheese, you name it. Back in February, a “high” fat day was anything over 15 grams.

Low-fat was ingrained into my brain in 2006 because of weight-loss camp. I was taught that the only way to lose weight was to eat less than 20 grams of fat a day. My low-fat diet yielded some amazing results. At camp, I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks. But I did NOT have a healthy relationship with food. Everything not low-fat was “bad”. My off-limits list was endless. No chocolate, nuts, avocados, real cheese.

However, in my mind, “off-limit” things are always better. I would crave everything on my “can’t have” list. Eventually, I would binge, feel guilty, and repeat. I punished myself with guilt.

But that mentality is quickly fading away. I’m starting to not fear fat grams. I bought reduced-fat instead of fat-free cheese the other day. AND IT ACTUALLY MELTS! I eat almond butter, which has 18 grams of fat for 2 tablespoons. And I like it.

I’ve stopped having a “NO” list because I realized that there is nothing I can’t eat.

It’s not the end of the world if I eat a brownie. Even if I have one scoop of ice cream, I’m not going to gain all the weight I’ve lost back. That one scoop will satisfy me and make my little heart happy. That one scoop is comforting because it means that nothing is off-limits, that I’m not on a diet. My liberation from low-fat is amazing. I feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted. In the past, every time I ate something “high” in fat, I would feel horrible. I would feel like I’ve failed myself, when in reality, I was far from being a failure.

Lately, my fat grams have been around 35 grams daily, roughly 20% of my total intake. And you know what? It rocks. My skin is nice and soft. My hair is healthy and not falling out. Believe me, when you eat extremely low fat, your hair does NOT grow well. You know what the best part is? I can eat REAL CHEESE. Ok, maybe not the entire block at once, but man, do I love cheese. Particularly goat and brie.

Sometimes, not all of my food choices are the best for my body. And I’m ok with that. I really like Rice Krispie treats. By really like, I mean love. A Rice Krispie treat is not going to help me run a marathon, but it certainly appeases my mind. It might not be the best fuel for my body, but it’s necessary fuel for my sanity. Without that lingering, nagging feeling of guilt, I can move on with life and re-discover the magic and joys of food.

It matters that I don’t find my food boring and repetitive. It matters that I have minimal restrictions. It matters that I don’t wish to be eating something else. It matters that I’m happy when I eat.

So I refuse to feel guilty about foods that I put into my body. Guilt is a negative emotion that breeds negative thoughts. It is a bad feeling, it is regret. Well, I’m not about to regret eating the best steak ever. I’m not about to regret eating a Double Double Animal-styled from In-n-Out. These things might not be the best options for me physically, but they satisfy a void in my mind. They make me feel like I did not sacrifice the ability to live and enjoy life, like I’m still connected to the world.

I’m no longer jealous of people who can eat chili cheese fries. I’m no longer jealous of people who can eat carne asada burritos and nachos. Because I can have those things too.

If I really want it, I’ll MAKE it. Nothing is cheaper and better than homemade.
If I can’t make it, I’ll PORTION it. Fine, maybe I’ll only eat half of that Double Double.
And if I fail at portioning it out, I’ll ENJOY every bite of it. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

In the past, I would beat myself up over one bad choice, one bad meal. That transformed into more bad choices, more bad meals. I got caught up in all the negativity and was too busy focusing on all the things I did wrong instead of celebrating all the things I did right.

So screw feeling guilty. Screw feeling upset and down about that one extra cookie you ate. It’s ONE freaking cookie, and you know it was damn delicious. It’s NOT the end of the world. It’s NOT the end of your journey. Instead, celebrate how far along you’ve come. Praise yourself for everything you did, and are doing, right. Applaud yourself for all of your hard work, for all the sweat that you’ve poured, for all the positive changes you’ve made, in your life and in others’. That way, you’ll find it much easier to let go of that extra cookie. That way, you’ll find it much easier to resume what you were doing before: being awesome.

No regrets. NO GUILT.

What are THREE things that you have done WELL today? This week? This month?

Cauliflower Soup – Dinner: cauliflower, onions, carrots, chicken broth, parsley, thyme, and milk topped with bacon bits and mozzarella cheese.

Consumption: 1772 calories, 18.1g of fat. (pedometer not worn)

Of course, on the day I decide to blog about my fat gram revelation, they’re on the extremely low side. Oh well. I managed to eat an entire head of cauliflower for dinner and it was actually yummy!

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Workout: Chest. Triceps. Bosu push-ups.

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Related posts:

1. Day 42
2. Ground Rules
3. A Scale-Free Week

For quite some time now, I’ve had a mental roadblock when it comes to running an 8:30 mile. I could never get past the 5:00 minute mark. I was always too tired or too out of breath. I wasn’t strong enough yet. I wasn’t good enough yet.

Excuses.

There was always an excuse, and I couldn’t get over it. For some reason, I had created a mental wall between me and my goal. The 8:30 mile became elusive, so close yet so far away. It was RIGHT there, but I could never finish.

Yesterday, I read an inspirational, and kind of crazy, article about an ultra-endurance cyclist named Jure Robic. Robic is an ultracyclist who has won the last two Insight Race Across America. Race Across America is a 3,000 mile race, and Robic completed it in NINE days. Yeah, that’s right. He cycled across the entire United States in nine days. What stood out the most to me was that, even when Robic felt completely exhausted, out of energy and sleep-deprived, even when he felt like he might die, he actually still had 50 percent more energy left to give.

It’s all a mental game.

I really wanted to break down my wall today, the wall preventing me from getting faster, from accomplishing my goal. I wanted to face my fear head-on and conquer my roadblock. I decided to give the 8:30 mile my best effort today. No stopping half way. No excuses.

About three minutes into my run, my mind began to weaken.

You can’t do this. You’re tired. Just give up. Try another day.

But I kept going. I wasn’t going to give up without a good fight. And I honestly, truly believed that I had 50 percent more left to give. I wasn’t done yet. I wasn’t finished.

I kept saying to myself out loud, “You can do this. You’ve got this.” The guy running next to me probably thought I was crazy. I didn’t care.

I kept going. There was no stopping this time. Just because my mind tells me that I’m tired doesn’t mean that I actually am. Just because my legs are tricking me into believing that they’re made of lead doesn’t mean they actually are. If I don’t listen to my legs, they will keep going. If I keep pushing forward, I will make it. I’ve still got more left to offer.

And I pressed on.

It was the longest mile of my life. My heart was pounding. My lungs were on fire. I had to constantly remind myself to take deep breaths and settle down. I focused on my form, on the midfoot strike, on a tight core, on my legs landing underneath my body and propelling me forward. It was the longest mile. Ever.

When 7 minutes showed up on the treadmill, I bumped up the speed. I wanted to finish in 8:30 so badly, and I was SO CLOSE. Was it finally going to happen? Will my mental wall fall?

Nope. I didn’t make the 8:30 mile.

I finished in 8:36. Six seconds too slow. Six seconds short of my goal. Six freaking seconds.

Could I have run faster? Could I have pushed harder?

It doesn’t matter. What happened happened already. I could ponder everything I did incorrectly, but it’s not going to change the fact that I didn’t run an 8:30 today. What WILL happen is that I will run it again tomorrow. And the day after that. And even the day after that. Every day until I get that 8:30.

I am chipping away at my mental roadblock. The 8:30 is not so elusive any more. It really IS within reach. I can do this. This wall I created in my mind is slowly coming down. I’m hammering away and breaking down my self-doubt.

Even though I didn’t make it in 8:30 today, I know that I can do it now. I know that even if I’m dead tired, I still have 50 percent more left to give. I’ve still got more to offer. I just have to believe in myself and realize my full potential. No excuses.

Soon, that 8:30 will be mine. Eventually, that wall will come crashing down, and I will be able to move forward at last.

There’s a wall, a mental roadblock, in every aspect of this weight loss, healthy living journey. We doubt ourselves constantly. We don’t believe that we can make it to the end because we get tired. We get fatigued. We get frustrated. And we want to give up because we think that we have no energy left, that we have nothing more to give. But it’s not true.

We are stronger than we believe, both mentally and physically. We just have to believe it. We’ve still got 50 percent more left to give.

So go the distance. Press forward. Break down your walls. Become an ultra-endurance version of yourself. You have it in you. Just believe it.

What are your walls? What’s holding you back? What’s preventing you from becoming an ultra-version of yourself?

Shrimp & Chicken Pad Thai – Dinner: rice noodles, egg beaters, bean sprouts, chicken breast, shrimp, shallots, garlic, and green onions stir-fried with tamarind paste, fish sauce, sugar, and chili sauce.

Consumption: 1643 calories, 28.9g of fat. Total steps: 16,123

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Workout: Upper back. Lats. Biceps. Bosu ball squats.

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Related posts:

1. Weigh-in #20: The Elusive 8:30
2. Weigh-in #22: The Downward Trend
3. 9:08 Mile

Wanderlust: a strong desire for or impulse to wander, to travel and explore the world.

Maybe it’s because I have a hard time settling down. Maybe it’s because I love learning new things, experiencing different cultures, trying foreign foods. Maybe it’s because the world is so big, and I want to soak it all in. Whatever it is, I’ve got a nomadic heart. You’d think a year on the road would’ve appeased my desire to travel. Quite the contrary. It only sparked wanderlust.

However, as much as I want to travel, I have responsibilities to attend to, real world business to take care of. So traveling must wait. It will happen again soon. But for now, I can only focus on getting healthier so that in the future, I’ll be able to travel. Climb Mount Everest? Perhaps. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef? Definitely. Run a marathon in Inner Mongolia? Yes!

What are your top 5 places to visit and why? Where have you been already, and what did you like about it?

Consumption: 1919 calories, 29.6g of fat. Total steps: 14,872

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Workout: Romanian deadlifts. Walking lunges. Lat pull-downs.

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Related posts:

1. Through the Eyes of a Photographer
2. Through My Eyes #1: Children of Laos
3. Through Your Eyes #1: Children

We are all confined by a box. Some of our boxes are bigger and wider, some of ours are smaller and narrower. Either way, we all stay in some kind of defined boundary, a comfort zone, a safety net. We like being secure, we like knowing what to expect, we like familiarity.

But for most of us, trying to lose weight and live healthier requires us to break out of our comfort zone, to step outside of our box and try something new. We transform from sedentary to active, we try new vegetables and fruits, we discover new ways of cooking, we fall in love with new exercises, and we find new ways to make life more interesting and entertaining.

It’s been less than three months since I re-started my healthy journey, and I’ve already branched out farther than I ever have before. By finding new passions and interests, I’ve expanded my box and broadened my horizon.

I have never been a picky eater. If you put something in front of me, I’ll eat it. It doesn’t matter what part of the animal it comes from, it doesn’t matter what kind of vegetable it is, even if it’s something with a weird texture, I’ll at least try it. Most of the time, it’s never as bad as I imagine it to be.

Curious as to what I’ve eaten? Ask away!

I’ve recently read many blogs that RAVE about pumpkin and almond butter, so much to the point that I HAD to have and try it.

What IS this craze? I had to test the waters myself.

Pumpkin butter was a definite win. I bought some from Trader Joe’s a few weeks ago, and it is delicious! Yesterday, I picked up some almond butter from Costco. I took a risk and bought a MASSIVE jar of something I had never tried before. Curiosity did not kill the cat. Almond butter has an interesting taste. Definitely an almond taste, but with the texture of Better ‘n Peanut Butter (which I love). I don’t know if I like it much on its own because it tastes kind of oily and bland, but with jam, it’s pretty yummy. How do you eat almond butter?

I also finally made some oatmeal today. No, I don’t live in a hole. I’ve had oatmeal before but I’ve never made it myself. I added some milk to my oats, nuked it for a minute, and then added some apricot jam, protein powder, and peanut butter. It tasted alright, like a mushier version of a protein bar. I don’t know if I’d eat this EVERY morning but once in awhile, it’s a nice change. I can see why people eat oatmeal. Oats fill you up like no other. I wasn’t hungry for a LONG time. I had to force myself to eat a late lunch so that I could hit the gym. How do you eat your oats/oatmeal?

What are some new foods you’ve tried? What are some that you want to try?

I have discovered my LOVE for cooking. I’ve grown up in a cooking household, but never before in my life have I cooked so much for myself and with such a large variety. I think it’s a great skill to have. I’ve discovered that you can pretty much bake everything instead of frying it. I also found that onions and garlic taste much better when NOT sauteed in oil. They maintain a more distinct, natural taste. I found lavash at Trader Joe’s and it is now my go-to pizza crust. Store-bought salsa? Please. I’ll make it. Marinara and alfredo sauce? I’ll make that too. I’ve learned that there is nothing that I can’t make. It is actually WAY cheaper and healthier to eat at home than to eat out.

Grocery shopping is exciting for me. Some people go down their usual aisles. Not me. I go and inspect a bunch of things, especially canned stuff. I never buy them, but they’re great for ideas. I now have daily dilemmas over what to make for dinner, not because I’m out of ideas, but because I have too many. It’s amazing. For me, food is now fun, exciting AND delicious. Healthy eating is no longer boring and repetitive. It’s a journey in and of itself.

If you had told me back in February that I’d run a 5K before July, I would’ve laughed in your face. Yeah…RIGHT. I could barely run a mile, much less three. What I did want, in February, was to break out of my comfort zone. I wanted to break out of my box. My box only provided me with fear. I feared running. I was too fat. Too out of shape. Too heavy. Too slow.

But it’s not true. My box constrained and limited me, but instead of being comfortable and settling, I wanted to expand those limits and achieve new heights.

And so I ran.

It started out with a few minutes. Then a few more. Slowly but surely, I made my way through a whole mile. When I finished that mile, I felt great. I pushed myself and proved that I could do it, that if I set my mind to it, I could accomplish anything. All of a sudden, I was running two miles. Then three. Then seven. I ran my first 5K race a little over a week ago. Now, I’m registered for a 10K on May 22 and a Half Marathon on June 6.

I recently started minimalist running. I’ve been running in my Vibram KSOs for a week. In just one week, I have already bested my official 5K PR of 33:21 by almost a minute. It’s pretty incredible. Although my feet hurt every night, they’re usually recovered by the morning, and I’m good to go again.

My passion for running stems from my belief that we are all meant to be runners. Seriously. How else were cavemen supposed to catch dinner? That buffalo sure as hell wasn’t going to just show up at your front door.

I also love running because it brews discipline. I honestly believe that discipline strongly influences long-term success in all aspects of life, whether it be weight loss, healthy living, careers, education, relationships. You name it.

Elite athletes are disciplined when it comes to training for their sport. I bet Kobe Bryant has shot at least 10,000 free throws. I bet Sidney Crosby has shot at least 10,000 pucks. I bet Michael Phelps has swam at least 10,000 laps. And I bet Serena Williams has hit at least 10,000 tennis balls. Fortune 500 CEOs are disciplined when it comes to their work. Top chefs are disciplined when it comes to practicing and improving their cooking skills. I see successful people, and all I think of is how disciplined and dedicated they are to accomplishing their goals. It takes a lot of work and discipline to become successful.

Running helps me to become disciplined. I might not be the fastest or the best runner, but I continue to practice and train. Through running, I have learned to let my mind control my body instead of the other way around. Through running, I’ve learned to push through pain and discomfort in order to reap the rewards and benefits. There are no words to describe the satisfaction, pride, and joy that comes from accomplishing a new running goal.

I’m stronger, faster, and fitter because of running. Most importantly, running empowers my mind. It is like therapy. I clear my thoughts when I run. I focus on one goal, and I get there. Running has taught me how to put my mind back in control of my body and not let my body dictate what I do or don’t do.

So step outside your box today. Find something new to try. Break out of your shell and discover a new passion. Expand your boundaries and set new limits. Be brave. Be bold. Be daring.

Steve from Nerd Fitness is trying to send 40 kids with cancer to summer camp. But that’s not all. He’s also becoming a Warrior. Help him pick out his costume!

Steve from 265 and Falling is running his first Half Marathon on May 23! Help him raise money for cancer research.

Chad from Reconstructing Thirty is running his first 5K on Saturday. Give him some encouragement!

The list doesn’t stop there. I could go on, and on, and on! Every single day, somebody out there is pushing their limits, going from ordinary to EXTRAORDINARY. Follow in their footsteps. Break out of your box.

Sorry, too much writing, not enough pictures! I’ve left you hungry readers unsatisfied the last two days. Don’t worry. Drool-worthy yumminess to resume tomorrow!

Consumption:1875 calories, 33.3g of fat. Total steps: 17,803

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Workout: Upper back. Lats. Assisted Pull-ups. Biceps. Chest. Leg raises.

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Jess25K: Remember my modified C25K? So I finally started it. I got sidetracked this week. I did 10 minutes of 60-seconds sprints at 8.0 followed by 75 seconds of recovery at 3.7, then ran for 5 minutes at 6.0 and called it a day. Need to stick with the plan more.

Related posts:

1. Two Miles in 24:00
2. Day 74: Lighting Up Your Tunnel
3. The Matrix Guide to Running