Yesterday, I was a bottomless pit.
And not the good kind, where there’s a cute cuddly white rabbit waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.
Oh no. It was definitely not that kind.
I was the Godzilla of food. My stomach was an endless abyss. It felt like no matter what I ate or how much I ate, I could and would never be satiated mentally.
I was physically full, but mentally and emotionally, I couldn’t be satisfied by anything I ate. I ate so much that I had indigestion last night.
It was a result of the quantity and quality of the foods I ate. A lot of processed foods were involved, but no matter what I ate, there was no feeling fullness.
It wasn’t the physical fullness that was lacking. It was the mental.
My hypothesis? I haven’t done anything physically strenuous in THREE days. There was no training. Just plenty of relaxation.
But I don’t think it was actually relaxation. It was laziness, disguised as rest and relaxation. I could have at least gone for a walk, but I didn’t. Three days of being a couch potato threw my hormones out of whack.
The balance that I’m accustomed to didn’t exist any more and my body was trying to find some form of equilibrium. If it wasn’t getting any physical movement, it would resort to the next available option: food.
My body was crying out for activity, but I didn’t respond to its request. In the past, I always used food as an emotional crutch. It would always provide temporary joy, fleeting relief. I would always feel slightly better while eating. But not yesterday.
Nothing was making me feel better. I just couldn’t feel full. I didn’t enjoy a single thing I ate. It was just getting shoveled down my throat.
I realize now that my body just wanted to move. It wanted to walk. It didn’t want food, but I’m so used to turning to food for comfort that I couldn’t recognize the other signs. I didn’t know what to do besides give it food.
Lots and lots of food. When that didn’t work, I gave it more food. (I know, not my most genius moment.)
I think the only solution is to go for a walk today.
Food is obviously not the solution.
I know I need to train, but I think I was overwhelming myself. I have to realize that training does not need to be intense every single day.
It can be as simple as going for a walk.
Have you ever been a bottomless pit? Do you ever use food as a solution?
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Female. 25 years old. Chinese. Cook. Foodie. UCLA grad. Traveler. Musician. Scuba diver. GWU Law. Runner.
Uh, yeah, like once a month
Oh good. It isn’t just me. I had sun chips and m&ms this afternoon. Kettlechips yesterday… Stopped myself from eating the ice cream cone. Combination of thunderstorms and PMS are not a good thing.
I wish I had a real physiological reason for my bottomless pit episodes.
beej´s latest post: Date night
I get this weird, nervous energy when I don’t workout…drives people around me crazy, like a caged lion!
Oh yeah, Jess, I still fall into that pit. Even like 15 months into this journey, I still try to fix any hunger (whether the actual need is food, activity, spiritual, or rest–and yes, I know all those types aren’t in the same word form…) with food. And food that’s not healthy. And food that used to satisfy, but now isn’t even that tasty. What a struggle, huh?
That’s how that past week or two has been for some reason–probably the same thing as you: not enough real activity…
Let us know how your walk goes!
This happens to me with chocolate snacks. Fudge rounds, swiss rolls, nutty bars, chocolate chip cookies, twix bars, 3 musketeers, etc etc etc. I’ll smash through multiple packages without even tasting it.
The biggest thing, for me, is to not lament what happened; but to look forward. It happened. It’s done with. Let’s get something else done now, something positive.
Hang in there, we ALL have those days. Sometimes you panic and try to figure out what’s wrong, but you could just be off your game and your body really could be telling you something.
So you had a couple of days where you did other things, totally OK. You’ll be rocking and rolling on to the next thing in no time!
I still find myself turning to food when I feel something that’s unidentified, and sometimes when it is. if I’m around food downstairs when someone leaves my house, I immediately go to the kitchen and see what I can sneak away. I’ve been increasing my exercise exponentially these last few days, and I’m never sure what to do with all my extra energy now.
Lily Fluffbottom´s latest post: Tiptoeing My Way to 5k
I think the body needs a good calorie load every once in a while. It happens from time to time. The body will adjust and is secretly glad you ate and ate and ate. Just don’t make it a new habit.
I’m sure my mom would have had the courts change my name to “The Bottomless Pit” if it were socially acceptable.
And I do agree with your hypothesis…I’ve had a similar occurrence recently. When I was eating clean food, I had no urge to overeat as well. When I was exercising regularly, I had no urge to ruin it with a food binge. However, let too much time go by and allow some poor food choices go in, watch the frick out!
I had the exact feeling after dinner today. I was still hungry and desperately wanted more food, but that didn’t make sense to me logically because I had just eaten a huge plateful. So I said, tummy you are not the boss of me! And I forced myself away from the kitchen. 1 battle down…I fear millions more to go.
Yes I used food to try and solve the problem. That problem turned me into weighing 231 pounds. I still suffer sometimes with no being able to feel full and eating shitty food. It happens. I just remember that I can always start fresh the next day and work my ass of in the gym. You got this jess, dont let this keep you down.
Oh, Jess..you should know that white rabbits only bring you tiny bottles with “drink me” on them and little cakes with “eat me” on them. You should know by now not to eat mystery food!
*I* find, in these moments where the body is not hungry, but the mind and mouth are screaming for more, that just walking away from the house…no matter what time it is, helps tremendously.
Also, and i don’t know how well this works for other people, but I do about a 20 minute short posture flow and enter a medium to heavy meditation until I have reached equilibrium.
I have found that yoga and running work hand in hand. This may not be the case for everyone, but i will still recommend it. Wholeheartedly. Even just looking in a magazine and copying one or 2 postures without a flow can be amazing for the mind: like a total reset of emotions.
If you are up for it, give it a shot.
Rinn´s latest post: Bulimia and the Fire Within
you have gotten some GREAT FEEDBACK here (and i yammered about this forever in my last podcast) so I will j ust add that for me less really is more.
lottsa training in the sense of consistent and for me 6 days a week—but since Im not training to compete it is less intense.
for me this realllly helps the mind.
the working out but more from a place of centered or calm.
hope this helps at all.
xo xo
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I probably have days like this probably at least twice a month. They happen, and kudos to you for figuring out what was going on.
Ah.. I had one this weekend but I understand why under the circumstances of my life this weekend.
http://fitnessroadtrip.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/whats-with-2010/ I still doesn’t make it okay though and I have been able to get control back. By going to the gym and working out my stress. My hubby how ever is unable to gain control and has been on a free for all since the weekend.
When I miss workout days I feel pretty weird too! On Monday I trained super hard and I’ve been sore for two days and I can’t work out other than walking. But my appetite skyrocketed for some reason! I figure maybe I’m building muscle and I need more food so I’m just trying to listen to my body.
Just about any time I’m under a lot of stress, I find it extremely difficult to not let myself lapse back into my old habits. It’s great that you were able to recognize what happened, and what led up to it, so that hopefully you’ll be able to prevent it from happening again in the future.
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The nugget in your post is that your BODY knew what it needed; you just misinterpreted. As we get better at accurately listening to (trusting) our bodies, this kind of thing will happen less. I used to struggle with this around 2/3pm, when I’d have the post-lunch, mid-afternoon slump. I always thought I was hungry. What my body really wanted? A break from sitting down staring at a computer screen. Once I started giving it what it needed, the “cravings” went away. How was your walk today??
SeattleRunnerGirl´s latest post: Learning to Trust Yourself- or Overcoming Fear
Been there, done that and will do it again. Trick is not to string a lot of days or years of it together like I use to. Occasionally it won’t kill you. Just don’t beat yourself up and get back to what you need to do.